Speaking like a native

MANY of our readers found quite amusing the parley of English and Japanese phrases between my wife and our Japanese neighbor in last month's column. Despite the different operating systems programmed into their brains, my wife and our neighbor are actually kindred spirits. Both are intrepid bargain hunters of the highest caliber. Both are keen to hone their foreign language skills; and their efforts provide me endless hours of entertainment.

But I didn't find it funny when I received a telephone call at the office from our neighbor the other week. She had gone shopping with my missus and our daughter. "Dekusta-san", she began and went on to tell me they had called an ambulance and were taking my wife to the hospital. I was so flabbergasted I forgot to use my multi-purpose phrase of "Sou desu ka?", instead I blurted out an "Eh!!!" which was just as appropriate. "A boy ran into her and knocked her down." Omigod, did you get his license number! I thought but only managed a very emotional, "Sou desu ka!" The rest of the conversation was a jumble of incoherent phrases. Totally at a loss, I turned to an officemate and told him my wife was probably dead! I knew she wasn't but it was the only Japanese phrase I could put together at the moment.

He sorted out everything and we were soon on our way to the hospital. It turned out my wife was fine, the boy was six years old and he had ran into our daughter, knocking her down. There was some bleeding but it turned out to be just a flesh wound.

The incident was just another reminder of the Filipino expats' daily struggle with a language totally foreign to us. Some of us came to Japan to earn a living, others to pursue higher education, and still others to start a new life with a Japanese spouse. We all shared the dream of a better life and hope for the future. Only to come up against this terrible, awful language barrier. It renders grown adults into speechless, illiterate idiots.

My wife was a bank manager before she joined me here. Under the double burden of wife and mother, her daily bouts with the language make her feel inadequate simply because her Nihongo is not up to the task of expressing her thoughts.

So I looked around for some help. It's available, for free too, from your local international exchange group (Kokusai Kouryuukai). Inquire at your municipal office when you register yourself as an "alien" (ooh, don't you just love being one of those!).

Or, you can plop down some dough and spend some quality time at an accredited Japanese language school. The Association for the Promotion of Japanese Language Education certifies schools which meet the "National Standards for the Operation of Japanese Language Institutes". Their database (www.rim.or.jp/nisshinkyo) will point you to the school nearest you, as well as provide you information on costs, number of teachers and students, etc. One year of instruction costs around 700,000 yen, and it normally takes two years before one is ready to go study something else at a Japanese University.

Language is the first barrier expats must overcome. It is also the key to realizing our dreams in this land. Once you have mastered the language, other barriers to your happiness will not seem as formidable. Never forget that it takes a special breed of men and women to be an expat. *

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