
The growing miracle
(Memoirs for the second trimester)
Katherine Develos-Bagarinao
WELCOME to the "honeymoon" phase of pregnancy.
Finally, I am way past the tumultuous first trimester, the
scary probability of miscarriage is down to almost 0%, and
my body has finally accepted its pregnant state. Everyone
"knows" about this latest development in my life
-- and it's only a matter of time before I start showing them
that I wasn't faking it.
My so-called morning sickness (which ironically occurred more
often in the evening) petered out sometime around the 12th
week. I was hoping for something like an instant relief as
soon as the raging hormones finally settled down, nevertheless
it still took around a month or so before I could go back
to eating normally (without puking, that is.). How I survived
without getting myself hospitalized for dehydration seemed
like a miracle. There just didn't seem to be a fast solution,
and every theory my husband and I could come up with would
be debunked a few hours after -- with me hunkering over the
toilet bowl and getting toilet water splashed all over my
face. I tried ginger tea, ginger ale, crackers, eating right
before I get out of bed, even my husband's famous tasteless,
odorless lugaw -- you name it, I probably tried it.
During delirious times I would actually beg my husband to
just kill me and put me out of my misery. Poor wife must be
out of her wits. As it turned out there was no other way except
to wait it out. My body took the brunt of abuse from the little
thing growing in my belly. My husband remarked that it was
like a boxing match between me and my little opponent. I was
knocked out by a 2-inch fetus, barely the size of my thumb!
And it was calling the shots from now on.
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Alive and kicking at 16 weeks.
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With the nightmare of the first trimester now just a distant
memory, and the heaviness of the third trimester yet to come,
I am presently indulging myself in the wonderful phase of
the second trimester. My husband and I are taking the time
to travel to different places and to watch as many late-night
movies as we could -- we know that our time is preciously
getting shorter. Our twosome escapades will soon come to an
end.
With no more morning sickness to distract and cloud my mind,
I finally turned to educating myself more about babies and
pregnancy. It was surprising for me to find out scores of
resources online. I'm even keeping a pregnancy calendar online,
and everyday I consult it like some kind of "horoscope
for the day" -- how the baby is developing today, what
changes are going on in my body today. There are even sites
online which show pictures of birth, as well as actual video
footages during delivery. I showed my husband some of these,
and all he could say was, "Ngih...nakakatakot naman."
Afraid that he would probably faint in an actual situation!
Of course I also found the pictures really graphic and disturbing
-- just imagine a bowling ball coming out of you and it could
very well make you scream. Or imagine having the greatest
bowel movement of your life and when you turn around and look
back, you discover that what came out of you has eyes and
ears...and a face covered in slime. I am still in the process
of desensitizing myself to such images. But geez, a bowling
ball. It haunts me in both my dreams and waking hours.
I have started collecting books -- my husband remarked that
I could very well end up with a library on pregnancy alone.
I even bought one reference for him as well. And I haven't
even begun on baby books! Realizing that I am now both a walking
incubator as well as a bona fide biological experiment, I
am harnessing the opportunity to increase my knowledge on
fetal development and obstetrics. It is amazing to discover
so much information -- and science -- encapsulated in an ongoing
process in one's very own body. "I am not stupid, I am
just pregnant" became my motto, and I could now say things
like "Braxton-Hicks contractions" and "placenta
previa" without batting an eye at my OB-gyne. (And at
times I really wished I took up OB-GYNE instead, considering
what I pay my doctor at every visit. I could rake in the bucks
easier!)
Until the end of the first trimester, the only evidence of
the baby's existence could be found in the ultrasound images,
and at best these are but blurry glimpses. But around the
17th week, lying in bed just before I went to sleep, I felt
something like "gas" passing inside my belly. It
caught me by surprise. For all I know the baby was just making
a few stretches or hiccupping -- a few simple motions that
almost made me jump out of bed and scream, "It's alive!
It's alive!!!" That was my first-ever "quickening,"
the first time that I felt the baby move inside me. And ever
since that night my little passenger has constantly reminded
me with its presence, dozens of times a day. In one of those
lively moments even my husband felt it on his hand -- and
at that instant, I think it finally dawned on him that the
little vermin is indeed alive and kicking. We beamed at each
other like silly kids discovering for the first time how raindrops
and sunlight create rainbows. At that instant, I think we
both realized that life as we know it will change forever,
but such is a small price to pay for such exquisite happiness.
*
Addendum: Our own baby site is now posted online at http://www.geocities.com/muntingtala/
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