Sitting pretty

ONE of my favorite modules in the unforgettable personality development course I took was visual poise. In this module, we were taught how to gracefully stand, walk, sit, pick-up objects and develop our posture so we can project poise, pride and confidence wherever and whatever situation we may be in. This course opened my eyes to the reality that our posture plays a major role on how we package ourselves and, consequently, how others perceive us.

Take sitting, for example.

What comes to your mind when you see a lady slouching in a chair, one arm dangling on the side while the other hangs loosely on the back of the chair, and her legs are casually stretched forward? Immediately and often unconsciously, we make conclusions as to the educational attainment, economic background, occupation, emotional state and confidence level of the person. Thus, we can probably say that the lady may be poorly educated, comes from a middle or low income family, occupies a lowly position, is bored or moody, and is either over-confident or careless.

Compare her to another lady of the same age, wearing similar type of clothing. This lady, though, sits with her back properly aligned and comfortably rested on the back of the chair, her hands are gracefully placed on her lap -- palm over palm, her knees are closed, her legs are perpendicular to the floor and her feet are properly positioned and at floor level.

For all we know, this lady may have the same educational background, economic level, occupation and emotional state as the other but because she carries herself well, any onlooker can immediately conclude that she is more self-assured and graceful and is therefore, more appealing than the other.

During the course I learned that everybody can exude poise and confidence in sitting by following these simple guidelines:

• Straighten your back by drawing an imaginary straight line from the ear to the shoulder to the hips.

• Properly place hands in the lap in a cupped position (one hand covers an open palm) or the lotus position (the back of one hand is over the other palm). You may also rest one hand in an armchair or place your hands on top of a table, but never place your elbows on the tabletop especially during meals.

• Always close your knees. In high school, I studied in an exclusive girls' school and my male teacher, in the middle of a lecture, would heavily blush and awkwardly say: "Close your books, girls."

• Properly position your feet by placing the back foot at a 45 deg. angle while the front foot points straight forward. We call this the basic hesitation position during training.

• Of course, we can also cross our legs by raising one and resting it over the other thigh. It is important to remember that in crossing legs, the leg supporting the other is not extended forward, sideways or at the back, but is perpendicular to the floor. Sitting in the American four-square position or de cuatro is obviously unladylike and is best avoided.

If you are keen on improving your posture in sitting, I suggest that you pull a chair in front of a full-length mirror and carefully study what image you project while assuming different positions. Try this and see the difference yourself!*

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