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Sitting pretty
ONE of my favorite modules in the unforgettable personality development
course I took was visual poise. In this module, we were taught how
to gracefully stand, walk, sit, pick-up objects and develop our
posture so we can project poise, pride and confidence wherever and
whatever situation we may be in. This course opened my eyes to the
reality that our posture plays a major role on how we package ourselves
and, consequently, how others perceive us.
Take sitting, for example.
What
comes to your mind when you see a lady slouching in a chair, one
arm dangling on the side while the other hangs loosely on the back
of the chair, and her legs are casually stretched forward? Immediately
and often unconsciously, we make conclusions as to the educational
attainment, economic background, occupation, emotional state and
confidence level of the person. Thus, we can probably say that the
lady may be poorly educated, comes from a middle or low income family,
occupies a lowly position, is bored or moody, and is either over-confident
or careless.
Compare her to another lady of the same age, wearing similar type
of clothing. This lady, though, sits with her back properly aligned
and comfortably rested on the back of the chair, her hands are gracefully
placed on her lap -- palm over palm, her knees are closed, her legs
are perpendicular to the floor and her feet are properly positioned
and at floor level.
For all we know, this lady may have the same educational background,
economic level, occupation and emotional state as the other but
because she carries herself well, any onlooker can immediately conclude
that she is more self-assured and graceful and is therefore, more
appealing than the other.
During the course I learned that everybody can exude poise and
confidence in sitting by following these simple guidelines:
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Straighten your back by drawing an imaginary straight line
from the ear to the shoulder to the hips.
-
Properly place hands in the lap in a cupped position (one hand
covers an open palm) or the lotus position (the back of one
hand is over the other palm). You may also rest one hand in
an armchair or place your hands on top of a table, but never
place your elbows on the tabletop especially during meals.
-
Always close your knees. In high school, I studied in an exclusive
girls' school and my male teacher, in the middle of a lecture,
would heavily blush and awkwardly say: "Close your books,
girls."
-
Properly position your feet by placing the back foot at a 45
deg. angle while the front foot points straight forward. We
call this the basic hesitation position during training.
- Of course, we can also cross our legs by raising one and resting
it over the other thigh. It is important to remember that in crossing
legs, the leg supporting the other is not extended forward, sideways
or at the back, but is perpendicular to the floor. Sitting in
the American four-square position or de cuatro is obviously unladylike
and is best avoided.
If you are keen on improving your posture in sitting, I suggest
that you pull a chair in front of a full-length mirror and carefully
study what image you project while assuming different positions.
Try this and see the difference yourself!*
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