You, too, can be happy

I know some of you may find this strange but I find the bathroom to be one of the most comfortable places in the house. I’ve read more books and magazines in the toilet than I have lying down in bed or in any other place for that matter. I’ve read news articles, science features, fiction, autobiographies, poetry, and even soap and toothpaste labels. I don’t know why but staying within the confines of the bathroom seem to give me more than just physical comfort. For some mystical reason, it also gives me relief from the hectic routine of the outside world and allows me a little more time to reflect and ponder on how everyday things affect our lives. It is also in the bathroom that I happened across a gem of an article that I find both entertaining and educational.

The title of the article is (Un) Happiness Is Something You Choose by Bill L. Little, a professional psychotherapist and marriage counselor. In this humorous article, he talks about the “Eight Principles of Problem Production” and how happy people can overcome their happiness and be genuinely miserable like the rest of the world. Despite the offbeat approach, the article conveys a lot of simple truths that prevent us from being happy such as allowing problems to pile up or insisting on impossible ambitions.

The problem with today’s world is that we seem to take pride in being and thinking that we are busy. We are always scuttling about to meet deadlines. We are always in a hurry to satisfy obligations like rent and mortgage. We often forget to give ourselves a break amidst the hustle and bustle of our daily lives. In short, we are often too busy to be happy. And when we miss out on the wonderful experiences that we have allowed to pass, we blame ourselves. Thus we fall deeper into depression and misery.

Fortunately, happiness can still be achieved and at a price we can afford if we are willing to make a little change in our way of life. The following are five simple tips I’ve gathered from my very own experience (if you know more, please don’t hesitate to share it with us as well):

1. Don’t compare yourself to others. As the desiderata goes, there will always be people greater and lesser than you are. Worrying about those who are better will make you bitter while belittling those below you will make you vain. You are as unique and special as they are.

2. Learn to close one eye when dealing with people. One of the many benefits of working at home is that it allows me to stay around the house with my parents and brother. However, there are times when our personal differences clash and an argument that often leaves me feeling frustrated and angry becomes unavoidable. However, instead of looking for ways to get even or make them feel what I feel, I often decide to just ignore and forget the incident. I love my family so much I don’t want these little differences to come between us.

3. Open yourself. As I have mentioned in last month’s article regarding anger, the one thing that can save relationships but is often ignored is simple communication. Feelings of irritation or anger should be conveyed as early as possible. Keeping an emotion bottled up for a long time can build enough pressure to tear any relationship apart. Honesty may be a bitter pill to swallow but it can create bonds stronger than any glue invented can hold.

4. Don’t blame yourself for every little mistake. Always remember that sometimes even the best intentions can yield the most undesirable results. Don’t blame yourself for every little mistake or failure in your life. Accidents can and do happen to anyone and bad decisions are a part of life’s many trials and challenges. Dwelling on your mistakes can only lead you to hate yourself. Learn from your mistakes. And most importantly, learn to forgive yourself.

5. Think positive. A lot of people fail in life because they have quit even before they have started. They are afraid of taking the challenge and the risks because they are afraid to be laughed at or to fail. Failure is a way of life and the best way to conquer failure is to never fear it, the same is true in business and in love. Accept failure as a possibility but never as an absolute outcome. Believe me, you will be much happier taking the bold step than to wonder all your life wondering what if.

And for once, halt what you are doing and think of the things that you have but rarely notice. Stop focusing on the things that irritate or make you feel bad and for a while refrain from thinking of the many problems you have to solve. Instead give time to remember the little day-to-day events that bring you joy like the nice warm meal you just had or the loving family waiting at home. Nobody is too busy to be happy. Happiness they say is like a butterfly, rush after it and it will be always out of reach. But if you settle down quietly and peacefully, it just might land on you. *

Back to top