A friend of mine recently read me a book on attachments in
life. It took me a while to understand this concept. Of course,
I initially thought it was all baloney. But recent events
in my life and in the world had given me a different perspective
on things. I realized that there is some truth to it. I began
to understand that life is all about attachments and letting
go.
Attachments in our lives can be good or bad depending on
the circumstances. Attachments can be joyous one moment and
sad the next. Regardless of the nature of attachments, life
is dull and boring without them. Attachment varies with age
and maturity. It changes with time and situation. Attachment
is influenced by social standing, education and culture.
At the moment of our conception, attachment starts to take
root. The fetus is attached literally and figuratively to
the mother for survival. Some believe, though, that there
is more to this than the basic instinct for survival. They
rightly pointed out that fetuses are affected also by the
various factors that affect the mother. In our culture for
example, we believe that babies born from mothers who have
many problems especially during pregnancy tend to be more
cranky and often are noted to be more sickly. Of course, this
remains to be studied formally.
The attachment for survival is reinforced after birth. An
infant is totally helpless after birth and depends completely
on the kind heart of his parents for survival. Of course,
the parents are attached to him on a more divine level. Love
is a form of attachment that parents are never wanting of
when they raise a child. The infant, though incapable of abstraction,
feels this through the warmth and tender care of his parents.
Thus early on, he is conditioned to respond in certain ways
to his parents and the people who care for him.
A mundane thing as
a shoe can be a kid's attachment.
Children initially have rudimentary attachments to more mundane
things such as blankets, toys, and pillows. His dependence
on the undivided attention of his parents engrains in him
from infancy a bond that connects him to his family. His lack
of abstraction make him incapable of understanding his attachments
beyond the fact he needs them for survival.
Through the years, the attachment between him and his parents
grows by leaps and bounds. The child uses this as a guide
and a source of strength and inspiration as he grows up and
broadens his horizon. The same is true for the parents. Thus,
attachment between a child and parents is good. Still, it
is considered detrimental if it hampers the child’s maturity
or progress. It is very important that parents know when to
let go.
As he grows older he begins to grasp the concept of love,
loyalty, respect and obedience. He begins to understand faith
and values. This happens as his horizon broadens and new relations
are forged outside the family. He begins to form new attachments
to other people based on affection. It is not surprising then
that teenagers experience an emotional roller coaster as they
forge more attachments.
All of us had experienced first love or puppy love if you
may. With our first love, we do have the genuine desire to
spend life together and do everything for each other. I am
sure many of us have sworn to love each other eternally. Such
attachment is usually very special. Unfortunately, this can
also mean so much pain and confusion when it ends. The hardest
part of falling in love after all is letting go. Indeed with
our first love, also comes our first lesson on letting go.
The best thing about being human, is that we learn from
our mistakes in life. And with education and experience comes
maturity. With maturity, values become clearer and deeply
rooted. In turn, our priorities and goals change with time
and perhaps, become more refined. As we go through this phase,
we assume a new identity as new attachments are formed.
Strangely enough, we become attached to new things as we
grow older. We are now attached to cars and jewelries instead
of toys, to wife and children instead of girlfriends, to job
and money instead of joyous sojourns and parties, to honor
and dignity instead of petty competitions and jealousy. Our
attachments are raised to a higher, more complex and more
wonderful level with maturity.
Our attachment metamorphoses in every step we take in our
life. The transformation becomes complete during our twilight
years as we become more attached to our faith knowing that
soon we will face our Judge. Before reaching this stage of
our life, we manage to make many painful acts and lessons—full
of letting go in our life. With this never ending cycles of
attachments and letting go, we become who we are.
Life is all about attachments and letting go. Therefore,
do not be afraid of forging attachments and of letting go.
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